Sean Blackburn, Dakota Dave Hull, Garrison Keillor, Jan Mara, Jan Meara, Howard Mohr, Peter Ostroushko, Randy Sabien, Stoney Lonesome.
I'm walking down Highway 52 (Stoney Lonesome ) The rebel soldier (Stoney Lonesome ) That he is near (Stoney Lonesome ) Great speckled cat (Stoney Lonesome ) I miss my cat (Stoney Lonesome ) All I Have To Do is Dream (Stoney Lonesome ) Lada da ( Jan Mara ) Let the world wait its turn ( Jan Mara ) Among my souvenirs ( Jan Mara ) Fiddle tune for two guitars ( Peter Ostroushko , Dakota Dave Hull ) Bartender blues ( Peter Ostroushko , Dakota Dave Hull ) Nobody but that gal of mine ( Dakota Dave Hull , Sean Blackburn , Peter Ostroushko , Randy Sabien ) When you go ( Dakota Dave Hull , Sean Blackburn , Peter Ostroushko , Randy Sabien ) Scotland ( Dakota Dave Hull , Sean Blackburn , Peter Ostroushko , Randy Sabien ) Festival waltz ( Dakota Dave Hull , Sean Blackburn , Peter Ostroushko , Randy Sabien ) Arab ballet ( Dakota Dave Hull , Sean Blackburn , Peter Ostroushko , Randy Sabien ) Lynn Cruz - the Radio Engineer ( Garrison Keillor , Dakota Dave Hull ) Russian Lullaby ( Randy Sabien )
Bertha's Kitty Boutique (Songs of the Cat Songbook) Bob's Bank Chatterbox Cafe Jack's Auto Repair Magendnaz, Delores Magendnaz, Otto Powdermilk Biscuits Sidetrack Tap Skoglund's Five and Dime
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Well, it's been a quiet week in Lake Wobegon called up there this morning hoping to get some funny material to use on the radio show, Elizabeth was at the switchboard operator on duty. She said, I don't even know if I'd connect you. She said, there's no sense in your wasting your dime. It's been nothing of a humorous nature occurred here since you called last week. She's a wonderful woman, unusual for a telephone operator, only one I can think of who has ever come on the line during a long distance conversation and told the parties to hang up. They had nothing to say. They were wasting their money. Most operators just wouldn't pay much attention. She takes her job seriously. But I did get through and found out that it's been a cold week in Lake Lake Wobegon. The temperature got down to 25 below here this last week. And that was on the thermometer at Jack's auto repair, the one that Jack put in two years ago and put it right up next to the window so it'd get some heat from the office. He doesn't care for cold and doesn't care to know about it. So it's probably a good deal colder than that. There were not many children out playing this week and no adults either. There never were many cross country skiers in Lake Lake Wobegon. But this week there were even fewer people who would stand by the window and look out and think they might like to try it sometime. People were more or less shut in, shut up together indoors, had all sorts of adventures. I think about the Magandances, Otto and Dolores and their eight children. Theoretically, you know, there's room for them in that house. I mean, they've been in it before, but in this cold weather, some rooms are in the house. They're colder than others. There are cold drafts here and there. And the children all tend to bunch together in a herd. And they generally gravitate towards the kitchen. Now these are not children who like to sit with their hands folded. Model children, or display children. These are normal, lively children. And you put them in a small space together and they get to bouncing off each other until finally something breaks. And she says, all right, you, upstairs, and you, living. And the rest of you sit there and put your hands on your laps. And I don't want to hear a sound out of you. And they sit for a while. And one of them starts to breathe heavily. And they sit there for a while. And then there's little... And then there's a couple more. And they all start giggling, just like you. And then they're off to the races again. Otto was down the basement working on a coffee table, kind of a cloud of shellac coming up from downstairs. Dolores went to the steps she called down. She said, Otto, come see to your children. And she went off to Ralph's. She took the long way. She'd been through this for a few hours. Came back half an hour later and found there was a basketball game in progress in the living room and dining room. Furniture moved aside. The rugs were up, a few other things on the floor. And a bunch of sweaty children thundering up and down on the floor using a tennis ball. With a clothes hamper at one end and a little sewing basket at the other. Playing basketball in her living room. All except for a couple of them who were standing there by the front door waiting for her to come. Waiting to clear themselves. And except for the baby who was in the kitchen on the floor getting her first taste of detergent. Otto was down the basement. He just turned the radio up a little louder. There was some entertainment though. This last Saturday night a week ago today when one of the water mains burst. He was up on the east end of town. Of course they called out Bud the village maintenance man. He shut off the main valve. Most of the people there on the east end I guess take baths on Saturday night. They were the lucky ones. It was some of the ones who take showers who suffered the most. Seemed as if the shut off of the water came right when they were just all soaked up. Some of them had to dry off and get in their cars and go to their friends and relatives on the west side and rinse. Well he wasn't going to do anything about it on Saturday night. He went out to the taller roots on Sunday morning borrowed their tractor and backhoe. And he set to work trying to find where the break had occurred in the water main Bud then. It seemed to be someplace there just east of Main Street on Elm Street. And he started going at the ground with the backhoe. The ground was frozen of course even after he got through the layers of tar. So was the water frozen that had leaked out. It was kind of like carving it marble with a spoon. It went very slowly. It attracted a crowd of people who came to watch including some children who had to be sent away because Bud likes to have freedom of speech at a moment like that. And also at moments like the moment when he discovered that his memory of where the water line was was a little bit poor and it seemed to be off about four feet. Bud is 67 years old, thin little fella, wiry, half rim glasses, big beak of a nose. That was about all you could see of him. He was all bundled up sitting there on the back seat of the tractor, whacking at the ground with a backhoe. He didn't have many helpers and the ones he had were not much good. Sort of people who glen to get warmed up every few minutes stand around looking down in the hole. And when the pipe finally appears they say, I think you got her Bud. But he finally did get it. Well did the seam, filled in the hole, went back home, got out of his clothes and after he got some coffee in him and he thought out a little bit. He turned on and he said to Iana he said, well he said, winter isn't so bad if nothing goes wrong. But when it does it just almost isn't worth it. Except he said, if it might teach people something. He said I got nothing against the school and I have got nothing against the church. But when it really comes down to it what matters is plumbing. That's the news from Lake Wobegon, Minnesota. We're all the women are strong and all the men are good looking and all the children are above average.
HM reads the school closing announcements and a three one-minute mysteries. The problem of dated food on the package. Now that the pull dates are so long, are they contaminating the food to make it last longer? The problem of getting directions from a local in a small town. Bob's Bank will be closed for a month because Bob is taking the little green mobile home to California for a vacation..
Audio of the News available as a digital download.
Archival contributors: Frank Berto, musicbrainz, Ken Kuhk