Greg Brown,
[undocumented]
Father Emil Father Frank Our Lady of Perpetual Responsibility
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It's been a quiet week in Lake Wobegon, this last week, which I guess some of you are from by the looks of you. Observed Memorial Day there on Friday, they did, the 30th, which was the original date of Memorial Day before Congress changed all those holidays to Mondays. Both Pastor Inkvest and Father Emo feel that if you have a lot of Mondays off, and then assuming you have Saturdays off too, a lot of people would assume that they would get Sunday off. But in Lake Wobegon, Sunday is a day of obligation. And if you even go on a little weekend trip and come back home with slides, you'd better have a slide of the church that you went to on Sunday morning, and it better be the right church. So they all observed Memorial Day on Friday. It's a great occasion in Lake Wobegon. The Lutherans go up to the Rock Park Cemetery, and the Catholics go out to their cemetery out behind the church, Our Lady of Perpetual Responsibility. Though the services are much the same, both places, I guess the one difference is that Father Emil does not read the Gettysburg Address on account of Lincoln's line, but in a larger sense we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground, which is contrary to doctrine. Otherwise, the speech is fine. The Lutherans left out the rifle salute this year. Many of the sons of Canute who march in the honor guard are getting a little bit too unsteady to be allowed to fire rifles in public places. But Taps was played almost perfectly. And everybody took their picnics and had a wonderful time. The purpose of it, I think, is not only to do with the war dead and remembering them, but also just that it's a good thing for people to go up to the graveyard at least once a year with their friends and their loved ones without having to bury any of them. Just to think about these things. To think about death, and it gives children a chance to ask questions about it too and to ponder these great mysteries, which are so great that many people in Lake Wobegon cannot deal with them except by trying to improve the landscaping. You can go up to the cemetery and get the dandelions off of Grandpa. Get the crabgrass away from him. Put a little turf builder on him. Father Emil is going on his vacation here on Monday, his semi-annual vacation to visit the Civil War battlefields. Speaking of that, he always goes to the same place every other year. Simplifies things to take your vacation in the same place. Just fly down to Washington, head south, visit Antietam and Bull Run and the Wilderness, Appomattox, Gettysburg, and come back home. Enjoys it. It's restful. Cuts down on the planning. Eliminates the need to take slides. Use last time slides. And it's restful for the parishioners too at Our Lady of Perpetual Responsibility to have Father Frank come up from the seminary for a couple of weeks, who is a lot quicker as a celebrant, gets through it faster, is much easier as a confessor, just sits and listens, doesn't ever heist himself up sometimes like Father Emil does and say, shame on you. Good heavens. And his sermons are easier too. All the analogies in them seem to have to do with either golf or fishing. Whereas most of Father Emil's have to do with battle, with soldiers, with dying. Father Emil thinks of his parishioners as soldiers. Maybe the soldiers in Lee's army. outnumbered, poorly equipped, betrayed by poor planning at headquarters, but having brilliant leadership in the field. Well, bless them. The Whippets lost this last week. They opened their home season at the Wally Old Hard Hands, you're surprised by that, are you? The Wally Old Hard Hands Bunston Memorial Park and dropped two to the Albany Allgemeinschaft by scores of 18 to 6 and 13 to 2. Pummeled in view of all their friends and their family. Dutch tried to look on the bright side of it afterward and said they had showed a lot of improvement, but there was a lot to show. And it looks like it's going to be a long season. Doubleheader tomorrow, 1.15 or whenever they get done with Sunday dinner at the Wally Old Hard Hands Bunston Memorial Park. The Myers Grove Grocer Schlegel will be in town and so let's all get out and support our team, win or lose, and mostly lose. They're still ours. In Lake Wobegon, Minnesota, where at least all the women are strong and all the men are good looking and all the children are above average. Thank you.
1980.05.30 Spokane Chronicle / Audio of the News available as a digital download. First appearance by Greg Brown.
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